Day 80: Be Good

This morning, I drank coffee at Prom B for the last time. I enjoyed the cool AM breeze while listening to classical music. As I am rendering my last day today, I am saying goodbye to my college hangout with fondness and zero regrets. 

I will look back on my three and a half months here as an employee with positivity. I refuse to hold on to grudges, especially concerning matters which are beyond my control. By letting go, I am welcoming better opportunities to come my way. By letting go, I am redeeming myself. And by going away from here, I am finding myself again.

Ten years ago, my spiritual director urged me to be good even when it is difficult to do so. I am leaving with that advice in the same place, but in different circumstances. I choose to be good. And I will eventually find something better soon.

Day 79: Stuck in Traffic

It is 7:48am and I am still in Cubao. I am riding an aircon bus because the MRT was not accepting passengers due to stop entry. The P2P had no bus queue at SM North, so I had no choice but to ride a regular bus. 

I am freaking out because I do not want to be late. I left the house at 6:00am and the bus is crawling. Traffic is so bad. I wish I can make to my 8:30am shift in time.  

I am down to my last two days at my current job. There were circumstances in my job which I could not live with, such as the eventual dissolution of the program I am managing. I refuse to be stuck in a dead-end job, that is why I resigned from that role. I am now looking for a better employer where hopefully, I will not be stuck. 

As for my commute at the moment, I am only making the most out of it. I am blogging on the go and listening to music. Life is too short to be stuck.  

Day 78: Caffeinated Heart

I am leaving the place where I first learned to drink coffee. I first appreciated the brew during my student days. I cannot live without coffee now. To say that my heart is caffeinated is an understatement. I am practically operating on caffeine. I cannot be productive without it. This goodbye is giving me the feels, because I also fought the drowsiness brought about by my hypothyroidism with copious cups of coffee right here on campus. I did it to write my papers and I am still doing it now to fulfill my transition period. 

I will definitely have coffee here again someday. For now, I look forward to having my last few cups of coffee as an employee and alumna.  

Day 77: Starter Pack

I just had cheesy eggdesal and two cups of coffee for breakfast. I am down to my last four days at my current employer, and I would have to admit that I am quite sentimental. Working in my alma mater was a unique chance for me to get acquainted with my academic institution from another perspective. I have learned a lot in a quarter. Working in IT also enabled me to build this website and blog during my downtime. I am grateful for this experience and I have no regrets. 

I would like to think that the skills I have acquired here comprise my starter pack for my next job. I still do not have a role lined up, so I am looking forward to a short break. I got some books and magazines to entertain me and get my mind active. I am also planning to continue my fitness regimen. Lastly, I am excited to blog about my journey and continue my 100 Day Challenge.  

I have learned to manage my time, start a blog, and live meaningfully. My graceful exit is just around the corner, and I will not look back in anger. Gratefulness is key to making the next four days count.  

Day 76: Dates Do Matter

A and I needed a break from​ the recent stressful events we have undergone so we booked a day trip to Corregidor, the World War II military island. We are both history geeks and while we have both visited the island already, a repeat would not hurt. We also wanted to experience the tour together, and it was a memorable one. 

We bonded during the ferry ride to the island, and we took several pictures all throughout the day. I appreciated A's patience with me as I am not the easiest person to be with. He thoroughly explained to me how the guns and weapons worked and supplemented our tour guide's script. We also got to enjoy our first lighthouse together. 

We had an amazing Sunday and I can really attest that dates do matter. Book a trip with your loved one, even if it is just a day trip. I guarantee you that the pictures, the memories, and the company will be worth it.  

Day 75: Determination

I workout everyday because I have to. Having hypothyroidism has forced me to take a stand on fitness, and I chose to defy my condition the right way. I did not resort to crash diets or questionable pills. I decided that going slow but steady is key to developing good fitness habits that can support me throughout my life.  

My determination comes from a simple motivation to be the healthiest version of myself, for myself. That way, I can ensure that I am giving myself the best that I can be and I can pass it on to the ones I love. Indeed, self-love can sustain a girl with a chronic hormonal condition.  

If I can be determined to push myself, I am sure that you can do this too! 

Day 74: Resilience

It was not easy for me to get out of bed this morning. The air was cool. My sheets were inviting me to stay. The teddy bear given to me by A was seemingly beckoning me to hug him again.  

Ugh. Like many similar mornings, I had to make a stand. I chose to rise and shine. 

I got cracking and worked out. I started with my abs, then I threw in some cardio. I transitioned to a barre video and then ended my workout with a squat challenge. 

My body was on fire and I could barely catch my breath. Like most days, I questioned why I was doing this. But I did not answer myself. Instead, I focused on my breathing.  

Inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale... 

And when I looked at myself in the mirror and took this photo, I got my response. I am doing this for myself. I am doing this because I am resilient. 

I am doing this because I can rise above hypothyroidism, one day at a time.

Day 73: Hangout

I have been going through a tough week at work as I am transitioning and rendering my last few days prior to my departure. I am making sure that there are no loose ends left untied, no tasks left undone, and no files left in my computer. I am just glad that it is finally Friday. As usual, I commenced my day with a prayer and a workout. I hurriedly prepared for my day. I then carpooled with my dad to the office as he is also working early today. 

I enjoyed my breakfast while reading my crime novel. My cheesy eggdesal blended nicely with the twists of deceit. I drank my first cup of coffee as the plot thickened with adultery. And by the time I had my coffee refill, I was walking to Prom B, which my hangout way back in college.

A and I spent heaps of times here, and while we had our biggest fight here which eventually led to our "breakup" in 2007, I am spending my early morning here because it brings me zen. An empty study hall is a promising cradle for all my feels as I am slowly saying goodbye to my office and alma mater. No, I am not dwelling on my epic fight with A ten (!) years ago. In fact, I am grateful that we are together in the present and that quarrel is history. Rather, I am focusing on the moments I studied here when I was still a student. I believed so much in myself even when the world was challenging me to the core. I never listened to the negativity and focused on my tasks. My college self inspires me to trudge through my current mountain of deliverables and eventual farewell. I do not want to leave with bitterness. Rather, I want to think that this place cradled my idealism and belief in humanity. 

If I slayed it then, I am sure I can do it again in 2017. Push. 

Day 72: Awakening

One of the the biggest challenges with hypothyroidism is that I am always sleepy. Like really sleepy. I'm not just drowsy, I am sluggish, tired and exhausted even in the morning. The lack of thyroxine contributes to this constant state. With that being said, I make sure that it does not interfere with work. I noticed that praying first thing in the morning works wonders. Aligning myself with a Power greater than myself is not only humbling, it is also awakening. There is also no greater alarm clock than knowing that I was promted to wake up for a reason, and that I have something better to do with my time than lie in bed all day. 

I workout thereafter and make sure that incorporate cardio to burn calories. I like taking a cold shower to jolt me awake because there are times when a quick run cannot even keep me up. I then get dressed and prepare for my day. The drive and commute to work is not bad, but when I do feel like snoozing, I reach for some entertainment. I enjoy reading if I am in the MRT, and of course, I always drown the noise with my earphones. I discovered that I never get tired of The Beatles and classical music, so I am pretty much married to these sounds.  

By the time it is time for breakfast, I drink coffee like it is no one's business. I always clean my email inbox in the morning because it keeps me up to date with my job. If I am not in the office, my emails and social networks also get checked and updated first thing in the AM. I really have to know what is going at the start of my day because it wakes me up. It was a tactic that has helped me ever since I was dependent on the internet to communicate, and if it has managed to energize me, then I am sure it can keep you up too.  

What do you like doing to stay awake? I am on the lookout for life hacks for keeping energized and I am glad that with the improving awareness on hypothyroidism, people are not branding those with my condition as being lazy or worse, slackers. Before you judge people, make sure you know what they are going through. That way, you can be more compassionate and even more awakened. 

Day 71: Walking Tall

I am rendering my final fortnight here at my current job. It is bittersweet for me because I graduated here and I have heaps of memories related to my workplace. During my reflection, I had to separate my memories as a student and as an employee. I had to differentiate things so that I will not be angry. I do not want to look back with a heavy heart. I want to move forward with the knowledge that I did my best in a vacuum.

With that, I am walking tall in a firestorm. Even when things are being hurled at me, I choose to pace myself at a constant speed. I cannot afford to trip or be discouraged. It is the homestretch. 

Day 70: Light It Up

I am down to my last two weeks at my current job. I have resigned because the program I am managing is eventually going to be dissolved. As an employee, I am only looking after my own welfare. At the same time, I also want to pursue opportunities for growth without compromising my health. As you know, hypothyroidism is not the easiest condition to manage when I am under unreasonable stress and fatigue. I want to look for a better role where I can grow both as a person and as an employee. 

Right now, I am transitioning and turning over my responsibilities to my team. I cannot afford to be bitter. Life is too short to dwell on negativity. It is futile to be angry at things I cannot change. Of course, my priority is to make sure that there are no loose ends on my plate. I want to leave knowing that my journey has not been put to waste and that my team can handle my job. 

Let me find the light for now as I finish my remaining fortnight here. 

Day 69: On the Hunt

I am currently jobhunting again. I resigned from my job because the program I am managing is going to eventually be dissolved. With no job security and a futile marketing plan, I have decided to end my tenure before things get more complicated. I am ending my stay here on a high note, with experience in setting up events and managing our incoming enrollment system. I am just rendering my transition period. 

I do not want to be bitter because life really throws you unpredictable curveballs, especially when you least excpect it. Good thing I trained myself to have a growth mindset and decided when enough is enough. I am not going to freeload myself in a program that is not going to last. Rather, I will plot my growth elsewhere, and I will exit my current position gracefully. 

I am thankful to have the chance to work in IT. I have built my website and began blogging during my stay here. I have taken the initiative to relearn writing during my downtime. I have also found my voice and rediscovered my unique style. Lastly, I learned to embrace my hypothyroidism and used my condition as a springboard for everything that I want to celebrate in life. 

I am optimistic that the future will be kinder to me. I am ensuring this by continuing my blog and wishing my department well. I hope to also stumble upon opportunities for growth and earning. It is my prayer that it will it take long for me before I can find a suitable job soon.  

Day 68: Trusting God

Dark clouds may be visible through my window at the moment, but it does not mean that they are here to stay. It is time to change the view and go for sunnier skies. For now, I am trusting God and chasing the sun.

Day 67: Consistency

In an age where there are endless forms of distractions to derail me from being fit, I aim for consistency. It is a challenging journey, because it is also acceptable to just let go. But I am not giving in. Rather, I choose to go all out with my efforts. 

I start my day with my morning prayers. I go on with my workout even if I am so sleepy. I carry on even if my joints refuse to cooperate. I will them to obedience. I have been doing this since I refused to let hypothyroidism rule me. I have befriended coffee and promised myself to eat right for my condition. Eventually, my efforts have paid off.  

But I am not being complacent. I cannot afford that, as hypothyroidism is a chronic condition. I have to aim for consistency. 

This daily journey has to be a consistent one, and it is keeping me grounded. I hope that I will remain faithful to it, and may the fruits of my efforts inspire me to carry on each day. 

Day 66: Finding My Flow

The past few days have been challenging. I have been adjusting to my normal thyroxine dosage and it has been causing me to be drowsy, slugging, and moody. I have also experienced some challenges in another aspect of life. I wish I could just press pause on life, but it does not happen that way. The hurtful part about reality is that the world will not stop turning just because we are overwhelmed. We should just go with the flow.

I am finding my flow now by praying, managing my emotions, and finishing what I have to submit. I am also preventing stress from escalating to something I cannot control. I also read and reflect on what I can do better moving forward. 

Finding my flow is the best way to stay productive. Mindful living cannot be achieved without strength and the courage to carry on. Let me just breathe...and go with the flow.

Day 65: Hypothyroidism Pain Points at Work

Sunlight 🌞 

As a hypothyroid patient, I was cleared by my endocrinologist to be fit to work. I have to be diligent with my diet and fitness routine, which are totally up to me. I also have to manage stress so I can cope and reduce the symptoms of my condition. 

I am sad and exasperated when managers do not realize that hypothyroidism does not make me incapable of handling work. Also, my responsibilities as a hypothyroid patient should not be seen as a hindrance. For instance, I am often required to eat with other staff and managers. I think this is unfair. The decision to eat with the team must also be left to me, and my choice to eat alone is due to the fact that I have a special diet. I cannot eat with other people because I do feel envious of their food. I cannot afford to cheat on my diet and I must focus on my fitness goals.

I am also disappointed when people make fun of my diet and my budget. I have to save money because maintenance medication and blood tests are expensive. I cannot keep up with everyone else just because I am mindful of my expenses. To require that from me is plain mean. 

Working with hypothyroidism is possible. It just takes a LOT of compassion and understanding. I also hope that companies will educate their staff about it so there will be less bullying and alienation. 

I also hope that as I continue along my journey as an employee and job seeker, I will be able to represent my hypothyroidism well. Rather than seeing it as a limitation, I view it as a discipline. My dieting, exercise regimen, and stress management are all key factors in becoming a balanced worker. I am sure employers will value my condition if seen from that perspective. 

Day 64: Little Happy Things

Yesterday, I was feeling tired and stressed. My thyroxine dosage has recently been changed and brought back to my normal prescription, but my body is still adjusting to it. I was feeling the slump when I decided to snap out of it by buying handmade accessories in this season's color, millennial pink!

I always support handmade because there is so much heart and artistry that goes into each piece. I also buy local because it is my advocacy to support Filipino-made goods which are world-class. I think it is time that we perceive local goods to be at par with imported items. 

Having said that, I heard that Craft Central ​already has branches at SM North The Block and Vertis North. I dropped by both spots last night. Their Vertis North branch will have an in-house cafe and for now, it is just a kiosk with mostly calligraphy items on hand. Meanwhile, their The Block store is huge! If you have been to their Greenbelt branch, you will want to cry with all that space. It is airy, bright, and well-stocked with more brands. 

I bought these tassel earrings and rose quartz bracelet, which are handmade by Bedazzled Accessories. They are both in millennial pink and I am keen to attract lovely vibes and self-affirmation! I am eager to see how I can embrace the magic of rose quartz. 

I think it is important to have little happy things to make adulting more fun. They do not have to break the bank. And while you're at it, do support handmade and local! You will not regret it.  

Day 63: Life Meaningfully Hacked

 "Whaaaaat? You have hypothyroidism? Aren't you supposed to be fat?" 

Lifehack #1: A microwaveable pillow helps my body temperature adjust to an airconditioned office after commuting. Hypothyroid patients are notorious for being sensitive to changing temperatures, so a heated pillow is a Godsend.

This is the usual reaction I get from people every time I tell them I have hypothyroidism. It is sad that in the Philippines, hypothyroid patients are popularly perceived to be predestined to be overweight. The condition is widely covered by mainstream media, and not many people talk about it online. The lack of awareness causes the condition to be shrouded in mystery and misinformation. 

Yes, hypothyroidism can cause the patient to be overweight. But I am not letting this happen to me. Just because I have this condition does not mean that I will let it define my weight, my mind, and my sense of being. To counter the tendency to be overweight, I workout everyday and watch my food portions. I also include as much exercise as I can in my day, such as walking to the MRT station, and taking the stairs instead of the elevator. Regarding the natural tendency for hypothyroid patients to be sluggish and drowsy, I fight the lack of energy by drinking coffee after each meal, taking walks, and really, willing myself to keep up with life. I cannot afford to drift away and lose myself in the tiredness, and I can tell you first-hand that this is not easy. The lack of energy can really make me feel sleepy even in the middle of meetings. But I try my best to psyche myself up so I will not snooze at every onset of drowsiness.

Lifehack #2: Taking a selfie before boarding the MRT strangely prevents me from dozing off during the trip. Yes, I have snoozed even in a SRO train!

This is why I strongly believe that defying hypothyroidism is more willpower than anything else. Mindfulness is my secret weapon, and my thinking is that I should believe in my own ability to fight the symptoms of my condition. Every time I feel discouraged or moody, I workout. I read. I listen to music a lot while working. I go on a coffee run. These life hacks help me go through life, and just plain awake.

Source: Oxford Living Dictionaries

I once suggested to a teacher to share life hacks but I was told that systems work better because it is not wise to hack through life. I strongly disagree to this because as a hypothyroid patient, I have been working smarter to make it through each day, each week, each month, and each year. I have followed forums and groups online to know how to hack through each hour of my day, because trust me, having hypothyroidism is not a piece of cake. Systems are useful, but hacks are help me survive when I am battling drowsiness, hunger (because I am controlling my portions), and moodiness (yes, hormonal imbalance does this to you).

How can I even maximize systems without life hacks? They are efficient steps to productivity, and in purposeful living, getting things done is key. Here are some life hacks that help me everyday (see photo captions). I know that they are useful not just to hypothyroid patients like myself, but for everyone. 

Processes can work if there are efficient steps along the way. I have embraced these life hacks which I have discovered as I have lived each day because they keep me productive, awake, and thriving. If I am thriving, then I am really maximizing my time, resources, and creativity. And yes, life hacks help me live meaningfully and defy hypothyroidism.

What are your life hacks? How do you integrate them into your processes and systems? Let me know so we could exchange ideas!

Lifehack #3: Workout, workout, workout. Burn calories, release endorphins, and improve your mood!

This morning's selfie before the MRT started moving southbound. Yes to staying awake during the whole trip!

A good breakfast is never complete without coffee. Lifehack #4: COFFEE HELPS!

Lifehack #5: Online classes, books, Tedtalks...Always look for opportunities to learn and grow. Feeding the mind is just as important as nourishing the body. 

Day 62: Quarterly Review

#nofilter #nomakeup

Today, I am celebrating my third monthsary at work. This is a big deal for me because I have not just started in this new job, but I have also switched careers and industries with this new role. You see, I have worked in an Australian BPO for five years. That is half a decade of my life doing Risk Management for a country I have only visited once in my existence.  When a change in management prompted me to resign, I felt that I was doing the right thing. And by implementing change, I meant doing it in a big and bold way: no more BPO's, ever. 

I do not want to sound ungrateful because outsourcing has really taught me a lot. I felt that I grew up as a worker. Fixing other people's arrears does that to you, as well as understanding and speaking in an accent which is totally foreign-sounding to you. However, I think that work should be people-centered. If other things get in the way of caring for the welfare of your employees, then that is not dignified work for me. Also, I am already thirty years old. I need to find a more stable company with corporate ideals so I can also develop wholistically. Having monthly socials in bowling alleys and arcades can be fun for employees, but this does not foster growth. Learning does. And now that I am working in my alma mater as a Program Officer, I can say that this learning is a daily norm for me.  

Having free access to our well-equipped libraries is important to me. I am not only a voracious reader, I am also innately a researcher. When I feel the need to learn something new, I tend to read books to supplement whatever I can Google. Also, working in the academe means that I have a lot of time to work on my personal goals. I have used the school's fast internet connection to enroll in online classes on personal system implementation, writing, and purpose-driven branding. I am still taking the last class, and this will last until September, so I am definitely going to have an interesting quarter ahead! I have also put up my blog and purchased my own URL. I also began my 100-day writing project, which enables me to have content on my website everyday. Once that challenge ends, I can confidently continue writing quality content because by then, writing has already become second-nature to me.  

A quarter is more than enough to develop new habits. I have learned so much in a short amount of time, and broadened my horizons especially in terms of upgrading my skills. I am excited to level-up my life through dignified work and learning, as I continue achieving wellness through mindfulness! 

Now, let me prepare for the day ahead and finish my coffee! ☕️ 

Day 61: Fit and Fab with Hypothyroidism

Yes, that's six-year-old me on the framed photo. 

Having hypothyroidism means that I am supposed to be fat and sluggish. Sure, that may be the norm when my thyroxine level is naturally insufficient. But I am determined to outsmart my condition by being fit, fab,​ and active!

I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism when I was thirteen and I did not choose the path of self-pity and loneliness. Rather, I have noticed that my mood and overall wellness improve when I am constantly exercising and mindfully choosing my activities everyday. I may not be able to engage in stressful jobs such as graveyard BPO roles and advertising agency life with round the clock deadlines, but I can still have a meaningful existence through fitness, proper dieting, positive thinking, and of course, a lot of faith. ​

Championing courageous wellness through mindfulness! 

These photos were taken this morning, and the framed photo shows a smiling six-year-old me. If I can give my childhood self some advice, I would tell her to be courageous enough to defy expectations and outsmart a chronic medical condition.

My life is wonderful even if I have hypothyroidism. I am sure my six-year-old self will be like, 'wow, fantastic!".