On Grief

Today, I reflected on the significance of grief in my life.

I first experienced grief when I lost my high school best friend Diane in a car accident in 2008. It was devastating to lose a sister-figure at such a young age as we have just graduated from university back then.

Diane was a freshman at Ateneo Law School and had a promising future ahead of her. I mourned the loss of a very good friend. At the same time, I mourned the loss of Diane’s future as a successful lawyer.

It was difficult to move on from that incident because Diane was the designated sensible friend in our group. She was the first person I would call for advice. Losing her meant having to find the answers to my own questions. And by now, I can say that losing Diane has turned me into a self-assured individual.

I mourned the loss of my father in 2019. He died of cancer. By that time, I already knew how to handle grief. It was not easy, but I gave myself space and time to mourn.

There were good days, and then there were bad days. Whenever grief would hit me hard, I would find comfort in productive activities such as workouts and crochet projects. I prayed whenever I felt hopeless. And I thanked God when days were filled with sunshine, and I would remind myself to also do the same in times of darkness.

Grief is simply a part of life. It has taught me how to keep on fighting in honor of those who have gone before me!

Diane at 34

Last May 27 was Diane’s thirty-fourth birth anniversary. I celebrated her life and legacy by visiting her grave and paying my respects.

I am honored to be her friend. She taught me to appreciate the little things in life. She was creative and self-determined. She believed that she was destined for greater things.

In college, she asked everyone to call her “Scarlett”, and her classmates did just that. She later enrolled in law school to better herself and fulfill her childhood dream. She always kept up with her love for books and poetry.

I am sad that she passed away so young. She would have loved Instagram and used filters to add drama to her photographs. She would have followed accounts like Daily Stoic. She would have also enjoyed listening to podcasts.

I wonder how she would have treated the pandemic. I bet she would have disliked staying at home. And yet, she could have thrived in the work from home setup. Yes, complete with a ring light and a top of the line laptop.

I miss Diane because she knew how to empathize with me. She did not judge me, and she was my biggest cheerleader. She would have also helped me find someone to date when I was still single. She really was one of my most selfless friends.

I hope that she is at a happier place now. I also hope that she could say hi to my dad and grandpa for me.

She was a morning person, so I hope that she can also help me in that department!

If Diane can read this, I hope she knows that I miss her so much.

Diane’s 31st

Yesterday, my friend Luti and I remembered our high school Diane. She would have been thirty-one. 

We went to UP Town Center for a food coma worthy of our late friend. She was a foodie as well, so we planned on eating nothing but the best. 

First stop was local favorite The Chocolate Kiss.  

Luti had the taco salad, while I had chicken satay with nasi goreng. Both of our orders were delicious!

We stopped by Biblio, a secondhand bookshop for good measure. Diane loved to read. 

I bought a bamboo toothbrush holder for my toothbrush made of the same material. I also got a pack of world map postcards. I was able to score free Sagada coffee with my purchases. 

Diane would have loved this bookstore, as well as their local coffee.  

Next, we went to Waffable by Rustic Mornings. I got an apple crumble waffle. It was amazing!

Later during the day, we had an early dinner of hotdog and mac n’ cheese at Starr’s. 

Then, we returned to The Chocolate Kiss for cake slices in honor of our birthday girl. 

Luti chose the devil’s food cake, while I had my favorite, dayap chiffon!

Happy birthday Diane!

Lastly, we passed by Diane’s final resting place. 

We all miss our friend. 

We hope that shes in a better place now. 

And someday, we will see her again. 

We hope that Diane likes our simple tribute to her in the form of yummy mains and cakes. It was a food coma to remember, and a celebration that we look forward to observing again next year.  

I hope that you will also make time for your late loved ones, and continue praying for their eternal repose. They are our guardian angels. Let us never forget them.  

Knitting with Diane

Yesterday, I visited my late high school friend Diane. I try to have coffee with her once a month (sometimes more often than that), and I usually spend time at the columbarium to catch-up. 

I started my day with a hearty KFC breakfast. I then proceeded to the columbarium after my meal. I setup my chair and took out my knitting, coffee, and current novel. 

I also left her a Banaue keychain from my Knitting Adventure last month. I left her our customary post-it as well.  

It was fun to knit with Diane, as I read my novel. Yes, I can now read and knit at the same time!  

I hope that you will also find time to visit your late loved ones. Spending time with Diane has been therapeutic and comforting, and I always find myself with her whenever I need to sort out some things. I just wanted to knit with her, and it was serenely delightful. I will definitely do this again.