70 for Adventist Medical Center Manila

I dispatched 70 earsavers to the Covid Unit frontliners of the Adventist Medical Center Manila. I made sure to deliver this just in time for my late friend Diane’s birthday. Words escape me when it comes to Diane. You may read more on our friendship here.

Making earsavers to commemorate a meaningful but short life gave the experience depth and love. I wish that Diane could see how she is inspiring me to live better even amidst uncertainty. As I share these earsavers to frontliners who are bravely fighting Covid-19, it is my hope that more people will also be inspired to help out.

Please consider volunteering for Earsavers for Lifesavers PH group! We are in need of crafters, delivery angels, and materials sponsors. No help is to small for a battle as big as Covid-19.

God bless us all!

Merry Christmas!

Christmas is never easy for us left behind. My dad passed away this year, so it’s just me and my mom now. Still, I am determined to have a lovely Christmas because the reason for the season is Jesus.

I dropped by my late friend Diane’s vault to kickstart my celebration. I realized that the departed never really leave us, they just remind us of how valuable life is. I won’t feel sad that I am left behind anymore. Rather, I will make it a Christmas gift to myself to have a full life even if I’m mostly by myself.

Merry Christmas!

Simple Halloween

Yesterday was my late friend Diane’s death anniversary. I visited her vault and stuck a post-it, as per our tradition.

Then, I visited Ella for a simple Halloween celebration at Barkin’ Blends Dog Cafe.

Celebrations don’t need to be elaborate and expensive. Sometimes, a visit to a late friend and cuddling a dog will already suffice. The most special memories are based on the mundane.

Picturing Happiness

I spent the weekend at my best friend Luti’s condo. Our friend Amabelle was in town (she’s based in Batangas), so we watched Netflix while catching up. 

Luti’s condo is right in the middle of the city. It’s also near a couple of malls that I frequent. 

The sunrise looks pretty from her window. 

We did some brisk walking early Sunday morning.  

I also bumped into my friend from Human Nature, Cindy. 

We had breakfast at UP’s local resto, Chocolate Kiss.  

Their tsokolate (hot chocolate) was delicious. 

So was this longganisa brekkie plate.  

We ordered cakes in honor of our late friend Diane’s birth anniversary.  

It was also a pleasant surprise to see the photo I submitted to Manila bulletin get published.  

I needed a cuppa after our heavy meal, so I got myself an iced latte from Nomu.  

It’s a well-balanced cuppa! I highly recommend it. 

Back in the condo, I was even able to do some crocheting.  

Later during the day, we went to the mall and I donated this Project Aral kit with slippers. It has become my tradition to donate kits every year. Hahahahaha  

I had yummy burger steak from Bigger Better Burgers.  

I managed to find a pretty floor. 

And I witnessed a beautiful sunset.  

I had quite a lovely weekend. Thank you Luti! 

Visita Iglesia 2019

My helper Racquel and I commemorated Holy Week by practicing Visita Iglesia. Our first stop was the chapel at St. Luke’s Medical Center QC, where my terminally-ill father was confined.  

Our second stop was the Blessed Ivan Merz Center and Reliquarium. For our third stop, we went to the Padre Pio Chapel at Libis.  

It was my first time to experience the Stations of the Cross (while carrying an actual cross!) at Padre Pio. 

Our fourth stop was Claret Church, which is near my alma mater, Holy Family School.  

Our fifth drop was the UP Parish Church. 

No visit to UP Diliman is complete without street food. 

We had squid balls and kwek-kwek (deep fried breaded quail eggs).

We also had sweet corn with cheese and butter and bananacue (not pictured).

Our sixth stop was the Our Lady of Consolation Parish, where my late friend Diane is buried. 

Our seventh and final stop was the San Lorenzo Ruiz Parish in our barangay.  

It was a time for prayer, silence, reflection, and thanksgiving. I will continue to reinforce my faith not just during Lent, but the whole year through. May this just be the beginning of a bulletproof belief in God. 

Morning Mass

Yesterday, I attended mass at Our Lady of Consolation Parish. 

I attended the 7am mass, then I visited my late friend Diane at the columbary beneath the church. 

After mass, I visited my dad in the hospital and crocheted the day away. 

It is possible to combine faith, friendship, and crafting in one day! I find ways to pursue my interests even if my days can be busy and hectic. It’s all about planning and knowing which materials to bring with me. 

Life is too short to be bored! 

Keeping Afloat

I used to meet my late friend Diane at Starbucks Gateway back in uni. We would meet here as this was halfway between my school, UA&P, and hers, the Ateneo. We used to sit by the window and admire the leather shoes and bags at PabDer. And our conversation flowed as our coffees got colder. We didn’t really mind, as we were there for each other. 

I miss her still. She passed away in 2008, but I still commemorate her life whenever I can. Yesterday, I knitted at our Starbucks (by the way, happy 21st anniversary, Starbucks Philippines!), while admiring the shoes and bags at PabDer from afar. It’s Christmas, and carols are being played on the speakers. My coffee has gone cold. But the memory of Diane continues to warm my heart. 

To cheer myself up, I bought a large mango float from popular chain Maxi Mango. It was delicious, as always!

Then, I lifted up my intentions at St. Clare Monastery. 

Adulting may be messy and unpredictable, so I keep my constants close because they help me stay afloat. I know that Diane is watching over me and our other friends, and that St. Clare is praying for my intentions.

I believe that good things will come my way very soon!

Diane & Jude

Yesterday was Diane’s tenth death anniversary. I celebrated this milestone by visiting her vault.  

This time, I “brought” the whole gang with me by posing with our group photo.  

I knitted while I was there.  

And I crocheted too. 

Since it was a Thursday, I proceeded to St. Jude afterwards. 

I got to have my new St. Joseph pendant blessed.  

And I got to pray for my special intentions during the novena. 

Lastly, I got to chat a bit with Ate Nagie, the artisan behind my crocheted tumbler sling. If you also crochet, you know that this chunky nylon requires a 4mm or higher. She has been using a 2.5mm hook for years to make her slings. I let her try my 5.5mm and 4.0mm spare hooks. She liked the 4.0mm hook better and I let her have it so she can have a comfier time crafting. 

It doesn’t take much to share what we have. Whether it’s time for a late loved one, or sharing extra notions, there is always a way to make things better. 

September Coffee with Diane

Yesterday, I managed to wake up and show up to my workout at my local park. I know that I routinely do this, but I was able to appreciate all my efforts to stay fit when I saw the Quezon Memorial in all its glory after a week of rain. 

It was beautiful in the sunlight, and I realized that my fitness routine does not lose its value just because I had to squeeze it in between commitments of late. Effort is effort. And just like this monument, I will remain strong amidst all storms because the sun will shine again anyway.  

I had a sinful breakfast of hotdog and eggs because I always eat with abandon before visiting my late best friend. 

And so I dropped by Diane’s vault and caught her up with the latest on my life. 

I may have had a challenging week but I managed to pull myself together. I worked out and visited my late friend. Strength does not need to be manifested in heroic deeds all the time. Sometimes, it is just a matter of knowing my priorities and looking back on my best friend’s life. I am moving on knowing that Diane’s got my back, albeit on a different scale. 

August Coffee with Diane

Yesterday, I was able to visit my friend Diane’s final resting place. But first, I went to my local park for Zumba and breakfast. 

I brought my pass for next month’s Manila International Book Fair with me. Diane used to accompany me to previous book fairs when she was still alive. She is always on my mind whenever I visit anything book-related. 

I miss my friend, but I know that she is happy with my determination to thrive and carry on. I will be just fine.  

Sunday Priorities

On Sundays, I spend time doing the things I love. 

Yesterday was no exception. I worked out, despite the rainy weather. 

I had barako coffee.  

And a delicious bowl of kimchi rice for brekkie.  

I visited Diane.  

And I told her about my upcoming adventures.  

I had a dozen mini-donuts.  

And I visited Barkin Blends Dog Cafe. 

I ended my day with crochet and beef noodle soup.  

Sunday is my favorite day because it is when I can rest and pursue my simple joys. I can’t wait to start work so that I can appreciate Sundays better. Here’s to more Sundays with fitness, food, fiberarts, and dogs! 

Fitness, Food, and Friends

Yesterday, I was able to return to my Zumba workout at my local park. It was fun, and I missed burning calories outdoors. 

I also got to have my favorite breakfast burger steak from Tropical Hut. 

I got to visit Diane, and I left her a post-it, following our custom. 

I had lunch with my family at Soban. 

And I had this beef korilog. It was delicious!

I got to use my new Addi circular knitting needles for the first time. I bought mine from Dreams Yarnshoppe. 

The Addi needles were a joy to use! They’re definitely worth the premium price tag. And yes, they’re comfortable to use.  

For dinner, I had spinach tartufina carbonara and this yummy pesto pasta from Salta! with my best friend Luti. 

Yesterday was productive and relaxing at the same time. It was also valuable to spend time with my loved ones, and even try out new notions. All the food made my workout worth it. I look forward to more balanced days like this one. 

Diane’s 31st

Yesterday, my friend Luti and I remembered our high school Diane. She would have been thirty-one. 

We went to UP Town Center for a food coma worthy of our late friend. She was a foodie as well, so we planned on eating nothing but the best. 

First stop was local favorite The Chocolate Kiss.  

Luti had the taco salad, while I had chicken satay with nasi goreng. Both of our orders were delicious!

We stopped by Biblio, a secondhand bookshop for good measure. Diane loved to read. 

I bought a bamboo toothbrush holder for my toothbrush made of the same material. I also got a pack of world map postcards. I was able to score free Sagada coffee with my purchases. 

Diane would have loved this bookstore, as well as their local coffee.  

Next, we went to Waffable by Rustic Mornings. I got an apple crumble waffle. It was amazing!

Later during the day, we had an early dinner of hotdog and mac n’ cheese at Starr’s. 

Then, we returned to The Chocolate Kiss for cake slices in honor of our birthday girl. 

Luti chose the devil’s food cake, while I had my favorite, dayap chiffon!

Happy birthday Diane!

Lastly, we passed by Diane’s final resting place. 

We all miss our friend. 

We hope that shes in a better place now. 

And someday, we will see her again. 

We hope that Diane likes our simple tribute to her in the form of yummy mains and cakes. It was a food coma to remember, and a celebration that we look forward to observing again next year.  

I hope that you will also make time for your late loved ones, and continue praying for their eternal repose. They are our guardian angels. Let us never forget them.  

April Coffee with Diane

Yesterday, I visited my late friend Diane’s vault for our monthly coffee date. 

I decorated her vault with rhinestone stickers which I bought from VC Trading. 

I was fresh from my workout and I didn’t have much time since I still had to prepare for a conference. 

I also showed her my current knitting project. It is in her favorite color- red!

Visiting Diane each month reminds me that life is too short. I have to do everything I want with the time given to me in order to maximize my life. Thank you Diane for always looking after us and for reminding me to live life to the fullest. See you next month!

Knitting with Diane

Yesterday, I visited my late high school friend Diane. I try to have coffee with her once a month (sometimes more often than that), and I usually spend time at the columbarium to catch-up. 

I started my day with a hearty KFC breakfast. I then proceeded to the columbarium after my meal. I setup my chair and took out my knitting, coffee, and current novel. 

I also left her a Banaue keychain from my Knitting Adventure last month. I left her our customary post-it as well.  

It was fun to knit with Diane, as I read my novel. Yes, I can now read and knit at the same time!  

I hope that you will also find time to visit your late loved ones. Spending time with Diane has been therapeutic and comforting, and I always find myself with her whenever I need to sort out some things. I just wanted to knit with her, and it was serenely delightful. I will definitely do this again.  

February Coffee with Diane

I started my weekend with an Ebe Dancel concert last Saturday at Trinoma. I appreciate his music because it reminds me of the best days of my college life. I had all the feels as he sang my favorites, such as Tulog Na and Burnout. 

The next morning, I did some brisk walking at UP. 

There was a color fun run, so I had the chance to peruse their pink powder. 

I had my usual ice cream sandwich: avocado and cheese!

And since it was a Sunday, my strawberry taho vendor was there to dish out this sweet dessert. 

I had to deal with some personal matters, so I was hungry by noon. I drove to Breakfast Bin for my beloved toasted naked longganisa. 

But first, I went twinning with the drinking glass.  

Finally, it was time to devour my lunch.  

I listened to some pop music while enjoying my slow Sunday meal.  

After lunch, I found two teen girls selling balloons. I bought a heart one for Diane, and I had my photo taken while holding their merchandise.  

I have always wanted to do this! 

Confession: I do buy balloons every now and then to spruce up my room. I’m forever a kid at heart! 

Then, I went back to UP to burn my lunch.  

After my afternoon walk, I bought French Vanilla coffee from a convenience store.  

And then, I delivered my Valentine’s treats to Diane. 

I tied her balloon around her stuffed flowers.  

I also got her a bracelet with a meaningful saying from Papemelroti. I hung it around her bud vase. 

As always, being with Diane was a time warp. I spent some quiet time with her. 

Before I knew it, it was time for me to go to my next engagement.  

Spending time with Diane gives me a sense of peace and tranquillity. Whenever I felt sad in high school and college, I would always run to her for advice and comfort. Now that I’m already thirty-one, I still do so. I am lucky to have her in good times and in bad. Like me, she was an only child. She knows how it is to cheer oneself up. Her memory inspires me to continue doing so. Her life motivates me to keep going.  

Thank you Diane! I will see you next month.  

January Coffee with Diane

Every month, I try to visit my late friend Diane at the columbarium where her remains have been laid to rest. I make it an event for the both of us. 

I started my day with an early morning walk.  

Then, I had a streetfood classic for brekkie: chilimansi (chili calamansi) pancit canton with a huge bun and sunny-side up egg.  

It was a breakfast that Diane would approve of. I eventually turned it into a pancit sandwich. 

I was still hungry so I had a small serving of taho for Php10. It was the perfect ending to a blissful morning meal.  

I wrapped up my walk and bought my favorite French Vanilla from a nearby convenience store. Diane and I loved to have coffee back in the day so I still continue the tradition to this day.  

I finally reached the columbarium. I set up a cozy nook in front of Diane’s vault.  

I usually bring an ebook or a book, my Traveler’s Notebook, and the aforementioned coffee.  

Being with Diane can be a time-warp as I enjoy reading by her side. 

I also share with her my latest food trips and sketches (which are usually of food).  

I also update her with the latest on my life, my blog, and my fitness journey. She used to be a fitness buff at some point so I would like to think that she is cheering me on from wherever she is now! 

I read The First to Know by Abigail Johnson during my visit. The protagonist is a softball player who’s growing up and discovering love, and I think Diane would have enjoyed this too. 

I was comforted by a brown butterfly which flew in front of me as I was reading and sipping my coffee.   

Hi Diane! 🦋  

If you want some quiet time to read and simply relax, why don’t you visit your late loved ones every now and then? Turn it into a mini event so you will be motivated to do so. Who knows, you might also get to know yourself better through the loving gaze of your loved ones!

Inspired with Faith

Yesterday was my sponsored child’s birthday, and I celebrated it with a mass in her honor. It was also special because I thanked God for her academic honors. I am very proud of my girl and I prayed for her health, schooling, and growth.  

I decided to have dawn mass at Pink Sisters because I received this in the mail from them. When they want to pray for me, I will definitely go to their place and offer my intentions! 

But first, I had cookies baked by my childhood friend Chesca. She also gifted me with Lava Cheese Tarts, so I included one in the mix. It was a decadent combination! 

By the time I arrived at the Pink Sisters convent, I was greeted by angelic voices and a full house. I lifted up my intentions to the Lord and thanked Him for granting me the gift of fantastic health.  

After mass, I proceeded to Kanto Freestyle for some tuyo (dried fish) and kesong puti (white cheese). I paired the awesome meal with some barako coffee. My hearty breakfast powered me through my workout. 

I had an intense Zumba and cardio session to burn all the goodies I enjoyed. It was enough to make my abs emerge, and I had a laugh while taking these selfies at the parking lot. 

My last stop for the morning was my late friend Diane’s vault. I showed her our dream abs because I am the only one left here to workout on her behalf. It was a joyous occasion, and I made sure to wish her a Merry Christmas, wherever she may be.  

I am truly thankful for all the good cheer I am experiencing now. I look forward to sharing this love to others this holiday season and beyond! 

For Diane

Dear Diane, 

I am typing this letter on an app. That’s short for application, which are basically functions that a smartphone can have in its operating system. You download apps depending on your needs. Some cannot live without games. In my case, I tend to write on the go, so it is appropriate to have some KB in my phone dedicated to blogging. 

You might remember my blog, which I simultaneously posted on Vox and Multiply. I remember you liking my posts there. Both blogging platforms are no longer existent. Just like you. Although both you and my old blogs have given me wonderful memories. I must admit that some of them were embarrassing, but aren’t we all entitled to making fools of ourselves in uni? Well, I have since moved on from free blog platforms and I now have a paid website. A paid one! So adult, you might be thinking, but I just had to. Having a paid blog gives me a sense of obligation to actually post something every single day. If that makes me more adult, then so be it.  

I do recall you telling me before that you loved my email address. speakoutsam@gmail.com was appealing to you during the early aughts. At that time, I mostly wanted an email address that could motivate me to speak out, per se. So you can just imagine when I decided to name my website www.speakoutsam.com. I was willing myself to speak out online. This time, I am keeping true to my word. I am actually doing it! 

So how’s life beyond Earth as we know it? I am currently unemployed. I think you know what happened, and I already shared it to you during my previous visits. Please help me find a job. I really need money for Christmas. Also, I need to pay my sponsored child’s annual fees. I hope you can help me out on that department. Just pray for me, okay? 

I miss you. I remember when we pierced our ears together in high school. I still keep my second piercings to this day. I am currently wearing hoops on those piercings. What are you wearing now? I hope you still got to keep your piercings in Heaven. 

What are you currently reading? I’m in the middle of The Prague Sonata by Brandon Morrow. It’s interesting because there is so much WWII and musical history going on in that novel. I think you would have enjoyed it. Okay if you need a comparison, I would say it reminds me of The Shadow of the Wind by Carlos Ruiz Zafon. 

The beauty of blogging on my phone and not on a laptop (besides, I don’t own one anymore) is that I can still feel connected to you somehow. You obviously don’t have a cellphone anymore. But just so you know, I still have your number here. No matter how many times I change phones or cellphone numbers, your number is always part of my phone book. Of course, someone else owns it now. But for me, it will always be yours  

Whenever I am unsure of myself or in need of prayers, I always find my way back to you. I visit your vault because it gives me the peace that I need. It gives me the impression that someone is listening. I know you are, and I hope you don’t mind if I will drop by just to catch up on things.  

It hurts that we cannot take selfies anymore. I’ve had a pixie cut for the last year and a half. It is very easy to maintain, but I have a feeling you prefer my long hair. I hope you’ll somehow approve of my pixie. It provides me with the convenience of not having to worry about my hair while working out and commuting. Oh, and speaking of working out, I exercise everyday. Yes to commitment! 

Remember A? You met him during my nineteenth birthday party. We are still together. Please shine some light over him as well, okay? 

I wish I could tell you that things will get better. But I am worried, D. I really do need things to get better. Please pray for me, okay? 

I miss you all the time. I wish you’re still alive. But since I still am, I promise you that I won’t give up. I will keep on fighting until I am still breathing. 

There is a job out there for me. There is this blog. And of course, there will always be you.  

I’ll visit you again soon, okay? 

Love,

Sam

In loving memory of Ruth Diane Ferrer, who passed away on November 1, 2008.  R.I.P.