Transit Dialog has published my essay, Let Me Dine Alone. Here is my essay:
โ๐ ๐ข๐ฎ ๐ด๐ต๐ณ๐ฐ๐ฏ๐จ ๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ฐ๐ถ๐จ๐ฉ ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ฅ๐ช๐ฏ๐ฆ ๐ข๐ญ๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ฆ ๐ช๐ฏ ๐ข ๐ด๐ฐ๐ค๐ช๐ฆ๐ต๐บ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ข๐ต ๐ฒ๐ถ๐ฆ๐ด๐ต๐ช๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ด ๐ต๐ฉ๐ข๐ต ๐ด๐ช๐ฎ๐ฑ๐ญ๐ฆ ๐ข๐ค๐ต.โ
๐๐ฒ๐ ๐ ๐ฒ ๐๐ถ๐ป๐ฒ ๐๐น๐ผ๐ป๐ฒ
๐๐บ ๐๐ข๐ฎ๐ข๐ฏ๐ต๐ฉ๐ข ๐๐ข๐ช๐ญ ๐๐ถ๐ค๐ข๐ด
โ๐๐ข๐ฃ๐ญ๐ฆ ๐ง๐ฐ๐ณ ๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ญ๐บ ๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ฆ, ๐๐ขโ๐ข๐ฎ?โ
โ๐๐ณ๐ฆ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ด๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐ญ ๐ธ๐ข๐ช๐ต๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ง๐ฐ๐ณ ๐ด๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ฆ ๐ฆ๐ญ๐ด๐ฆ, ๐๐ขโ๐ข๐ฎ?โ
โ๐๐ฉ๐บ ๐ข๐ณ๐ฆ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ฅ๐ช๐ฏ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ข๐ญ๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ฆ?โ
Itโs 2022, and yet these questions are still commonly asked to me by both restaurant staff and people I know. I am aware that I should not take these queries personally, but it still fills me with wonder how dining alone as a solo lady in Manila can be a crucial judgment point.
So, in the year of Our Lord 2022, let me dine alone.
I am an only child who grew up with pretty solid opinions about the food that I liked. I enjoyed being a foodie from the get-go. I found it amusing to be asked why I was dining alone when I was younger, to which I would reply, โI am alone, thank you.โ
But as I grew up and had more years of experience as a solo diner, I realized that I was seen as a social liability. Others looked at me with pity, as if I could not attract a man. There were those who asked me where my boyfriend was, and when I got older, where my husband was. Still, there were others who asked me if I was expecting anyone for business. I always had the same answer: โI am alone, thank you.โ
I currently have a partner who also enjoys dining alone. He grew up with siblings, but he learned to enjoy his own company due to the demands of work. I found a kindred spirit in him, and our relationship remains to be a work in progress. Naturally, there are more days when I dine without him, and that is fine. I have a book, a bunch of playlists and podcasts to entertain me, and the occasional crochet project to keep my hands busy while my order is being prepared. I am alone, but not lonely.
Sure, we wear masks now to protect ourselves during a pandemic which has transcended all our expectations and perceived possibilities. But would you believe that I still get asked why I dine alone? I still reply that โI am alone, thank you.โ And a global pandemic will not drive me to seek the company of others when I am perfectly fine eating alone.
Why do women like me have to answer so many questions when we choose to dine alone? We can afford to do so. We enjoy eating alone. We have people in our lives to dine with, but the pleasure of dining alone is incomparable.
There is no match to the peace that comes with people watching. There is the calming effect of planning my week ahead while savoring some pasta. There is the joy of sipping my coffee alone while writing in a notebook. There is the efficiency of replying to my emails as I wait for my bill to arrive. All of these can be done by myself, and the meals that I enjoy while simply being me are just a controllable variable in my frequent experiments with solo dining in Manila.
Abroad, I observed that I am not judged whenever I eat alone. The few times I did so was fun. People simply minded their own business. I was able to eat in peace. I was able to avoid saying, โI am alone, thank you.โ
Dining alone makes me say, โthank you, I am alone.โ
Because I owe it to myself that I am strong enough to dine alone in a society that questions that simple act. I am liberated by my skill to enjoy my own company and order my own food. I am my best self whenever I dine alone. I am able to share myself to the people and things that I care about more because I get to enjoy dining alone.
It is 2022. I am thankful for the gift of life, and the happiness behind enjoying my favorite food. Let me dine alone.
I hope that you will also try it soon.
๐๐ข๐ฎ๐ข๐ฏ๐ต๐ฉ๐ข ๐๐ข๐ช๐ญ ๐. ๐๐ถ๐ค๐ข๐ด ๐ฉ๐ข๐ด ๐ฃ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ฏ ๐ฃ๐ญ๐ฐ๐จ๐จ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ฐ๐ฏ ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ ๐ธ๐ฆ๐ฃ๐ด๐ช๐ต๐ฆ, ๐ธ๐ธ๐ธ.๐ด๐ฑ๐ฆ๐ข๐ฌ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ต๐ด๐ข๐ฎ.๐ค๐ฐ๐ฎ, ๐ด๐ช๐ฏ๐ค๐ฆ ๐๐ข๐บ 2017 ๐ธ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ฆ ๐ด๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ณ๐ฆ๐จ๐ถ๐ญ๐ข๐ณ๐ญ๐บ ๐ด๐ฉ๐ข๐ณ๐ฆ๐ด ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ ๐ง๐ข๐ท๐ฐ๐ณ๐ช๐ต๐ฆ ๐ญ๐ฐ๐ค๐ข๐ญ ๐ง๐ช๐ฏ๐ฅ๐ด, ๐ง๐ฐ๐ฐ๐ฅ๐ช๐ฆ ๐ข๐ฅ๐ท๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ต๐ถ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ด, ๐ค๐ฉ๐ข๐ณ๐ช๐ต๐ข๐ฃ๐ญ๐ฆ ๐ข๐ฅ๐ท๐ฐ๐ค๐ข๐ค๐ช๐ฆ๐ด, ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ฅ๐ช๐ข ๐ฑ๐ข๐ณ๐ต๐ฏ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ด๐ฉ๐ช๐ฑ๐ด. ๐๐ฆ๐ณ ๐ง๐ช๐ณ๐ด๐ต ๐ฃ๐ฐ๐ฐ๐ฌ, ๐๐ฑ๐ฆ๐ข๐ฌ ๐๐ญ๐ฐ๐จ ๐๐ช๐ท๐ฆ, ๐ธ๐ข๐ด ๐ฑ๐ถ๐ฃ๐ญ๐ช๐ด๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐ช๐ฏ ๐๐ค๐ต๐ฐ๐ฃ๐ฆ๐ณ 2021, ๐ธ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐ฆ ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ ๐ด๐ฆ๐ค๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ฃ๐ฐ๐ฐ๐ฌ, ๐๐ฑ๐ฆ๐ข๐ฌ ๐๐ณ๐ช๐ต๐ฆ ๐๐ช๐ท๐ฆ, ๐ธ๐ข๐ด ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ญ๐ฆ๐ข๐ด๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐ช๐ฏ ๐๐ฆ๐ค๐ฆ๐ฎ๐ฃ๐ฆ๐ณ 2021.
Source: Transit Dialog
