Let Me Dine Alone

Transit Dialog has published my essay, Let Me Dine Alone. Here is my essay:

“𝘐 𝘢𝘮 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘦𝘯𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘵𝘰 𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘦 𝘢𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘢 𝘴𝘰𝘤𝘪𝘦𝘵𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘴𝘪𝘮𝘱𝘭𝘦 𝘢𝘤𝘵.”

𝗟𝗲𝘁 𝗠𝗲 𝗗𝗶𝗻𝗲 𝗔𝗹𝗼𝗻𝗲

𝘉𝘺 𝘚𝘢𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘩𝘢 𝘎𝘢𝘪𝘭 𝘓𝘶𝘤𝘢𝘴

“𝘛𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘰𝘯𝘭𝘺 𝘰𝘯𝘦, 𝘔𝘢’𝘢𝘮?”

“𝘈𝘳𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘸𝘢𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘦𝘭𝘴𝘦, 𝘔𝘢’𝘢𝘮?”

“𝘞𝘩𝘺 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘦?”

It’s 2022, and yet these questions are still commonly asked to me by both restaurant staff and people I know. I am aware that I should not take these queries personally, but it still fills me with wonder how dining alone as a solo lady in Manila can be a crucial judgment point.

So, in the year of Our Lord 2022, let me dine alone.

I am an only child who grew up with pretty solid opinions about the food that I liked. I enjoyed being a foodie from the get-go. I found it amusing to be asked why I was dining alone when I was younger, to which I would reply, “I am alone, thank you.”

But as I grew up and had more years of experience as a solo diner, I realized that I was seen as a social liability. Others looked at me with pity, as if I could not attract a man. There were those who asked me where my boyfriend was, and when I got older, where my husband was. Still, there were others who asked me if I was expecting anyone for business. I always had the same answer: “I am alone, thank you.”

I currently have a partner who also enjoys dining alone. He grew up with siblings, but he learned to enjoy his own company due to the demands of work. I found a kindred spirit in him, and our relationship remains to be a work in progress. Naturally, there are more days when I dine without him, and that is fine. I have a book, a bunch of playlists and podcasts to entertain me, and the occasional crochet project to keep my hands busy while my order is being prepared. I am alone, but not lonely.

Sure, we wear masks now to protect ourselves during a pandemic which has transcended all our expectations and perceived possibilities. But would you believe that I still get asked why I dine alone? I still reply that “I am alone, thank you.” And a global pandemic will not drive me to seek the company of others when I am perfectly fine eating alone.

Why do women like me have to answer so many questions when we choose to dine alone? We can afford to do so. We enjoy eating alone. We have people in our lives to dine with, but the pleasure of dining alone is incomparable.

There is no match to the peace that comes with people watching. There is the calming effect of planning my week ahead while savoring some pasta. There is the joy of sipping my coffee alone while writing in a notebook. There is the efficiency of replying to my emails as I wait for my bill to arrive. All of these can be done by myself, and the meals that I enjoy while simply being me are just a controllable variable in my frequent experiments with solo dining in Manila.

Abroad, I observed that I am not judged whenever I eat alone. The few times I did so was fun. People simply minded their own business. I was able to eat in peace. I was able to avoid saying, “I am alone, thank you.”

Dining alone makes me say, “thank you, I am alone.”

Because I owe it to myself that I am strong enough to dine alone in a society that questions that simple act. I am liberated by my skill to enjoy my own company and order my own food. I am my best self whenever I dine alone. I am able to share myself to the people and things that I care about more because I get to enjoy dining alone.

It is 2022. I am thankful for the gift of life, and the happiness behind enjoying my favorite food. Let me dine alone.

I hope that you will also try it soon.

𝘚𝘢𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘩𝘢 𝘎𝘢𝘪𝘭 𝘉. 𝘓𝘶𝘤𝘢𝘴 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘣𝘭𝘰𝘨𝘨𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘯 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘸𝘦𝘣𝘴𝘪𝘵𝘦, 𝘸𝘸𝘸.𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘢𝘬𝘰𝘶𝘵𝘴𝘢𝘮.𝘤𝘰𝘮, 𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘔𝘢𝘺 2017 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘨𝘶𝘭𝘢𝘳𝘭𝘺 𝘴𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘴 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘧𝘢𝘷𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘦 𝘭𝘰𝘤𝘢𝘭 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘥𝘴, 𝘧𝘰𝘰𝘥𝘪𝘦 𝘢𝘥𝘷𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘦𝘴, 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘦 𝘢𝘥𝘷𝘰𝘤𝘢𝘤𝘪𝘦𝘴, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘮𝘦𝘥𝘪𝘢 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘯𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘱𝘴. 𝘏𝘦𝘳 𝘧𝘪𝘳𝘴𝘵 𝘣𝘰𝘰𝘬, 𝘚𝘱𝘦𝘢𝘬 𝘉𝘭𝘰𝘨 𝘓𝘪𝘷𝘦, 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘱𝘶𝘣𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘩𝘦𝘥 𝘪𝘯 𝘖𝘤𝘵𝘰𝘣𝘦𝘳 2021, 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘦 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘴𝘦𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘥 𝘣𝘰𝘰𝘬, 𝘚𝘱𝘦𝘢𝘬 𝘞𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘦 𝘓𝘪𝘷𝘦, 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘳𝘦𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘪𝘯 𝘋𝘦𝘤𝘦𝘮𝘣𝘦𝘳 2021.

Source: Transit Dialog

Your Feelings are Valid

Recently, I have been writing on my Your Feelings are Valid journal by Sincerely, Kristine.

It has helped me solve my worries and fears.

I was able to navigate through my emotions and deepest traumas.

I was also able to understand myself better.

I highly recommend this journal, especially now that we are facing many uncertainties. While I am not facing any mental struggle in my life, I must say that psychological first aid has been a valuable resource.

You may buy this journal here. Stay safe, everyone!

One Month Of Journaling

Today marks the first month of my daily journaling habit. This is my first daily journaling experience with a paper notebook and an actual pen. I must say that physical, tangible journaling has been helpful in the following ways:

1. I am able to share my stress management routine.

2. I am able to process anger.

3. I am able to break down what grief means to me and how it affects me.

4. I am able to plan the things that I still want to be better at for the rest of 2021.

5. I am able to share my favorite songs.

6. I am able to share my desk essentials and how they help me.
   

…and many more! I did not expect journaling to be a roadmap during the pandemic. It has become my guide to becoming a better person. I have built a habit that invites me to be kinder to myself. As a result, I am able to pass on this kindness to other people.

Here’s to more months of journaling!

Lacey Scarf

I recently finished crocheting this lacey scarf. I followed the Crochet Easy Shawl pattern by GG Crochet. I used fine cotton yarn by Miss Crochet a Lot, and a 4.5mm hook.

This was a therapeutic project over the second Enhanced Community Quarantine (ECQ) period. Having a rise in the Covid-19 patients in my country has been a source of anxiety, so this project helped me stay calm and on track. It also inspired me to stay focused as the pattern is only a two-row repeat.

This simple yet beautiful pattern inspired me to do more during this difficult period. I joined webinars again to educate myself, and it reminded me of how much I love learning. It has also cleared my mind from the difficult news stories at the moment. I focused on the hypnotic pattern, and it kept me going until I finished the scarf.

If you are also feeling down at times, find fulfillment in the hobbies that keep you sane. Focus on what you can do and don’t feel discouraged by factors beyond your control. If you also crochet, just keep on hooking!

Let us all create a better present by being present. God bless us all!

Lion Dance Amigurumi

Gong Xi Fa Cai! Happy Lunar New Year!

I just finished crocheting this lion dance amigurumi doll using the free lion dollie pattern from Yarn It Darn It. I used cotone latte yarns from Oh My Yarn and a 4mm hook.

Crochet allows me to meditate and reflect on the events that transpired in my life. The pandemic has exposed to me who my real friends and family are. Crochet has been my meditative process of choice to weigh decisions and discern life choices. When it comes to trusting people, I make sure to tabulate the pros and cons of each individual. Crochet helps me think deeper and therefore, decide better who to trust and who to be wary of.

This is why it is only fitting that I welcome the Year of the Ox with an adorable lion dance amigurumi which has enabled me to reflect while crocheting it. I hope that you also have a process of thinking things through.

Have a prosperous year ahead, everyone!

Solo Dining For Ladies

I get a number of messages from my female friends asking for tips on how to dine solo. I have been eating out on my own for ages since I am an only child, so I consider myself a pro at this.

Dining solo may be a feat for some, but for me, it is simply my way of life. If you are also a woman and find this intimidating, read on some of my tips on eating and drinking solo in our city:

1. Bring a book or listen to music/podcasts! It helps to keep your mind entertained while eating, drinking, and people watching.
   

2. Order your favorites! Indulge. Enjoy yourself.
   

3. Be confident. You can pay for your own meal and drinks. That is powerful.
   

4. Order coffee. It is a source of joy along with your dessert.
   

5. Mind your posture. It makes you feel better about yourself.
   

My suggestions are nothing new but I hope this helps! Solo dining is liberating and a lot of fun. Don’t forget to tip your server and exit the restaurant with a smile. You are worth treating so just go for it!

Donate Blood Today!

I recently donated blood! I try to donate every three months because it’s the easiest way to help others. I regularly visit the Philippine Red Cross Quezon City Chapter for my donations as this is the center closest to my home.

Please do take note of the medical check-up that will be conducted onsite prior to bleeding. You will then be advised if you are a suitable donor.

To increase your chances of being a suitable donor, eat a heavy breakfast and avoid smoking or drinking prior to donating. I don’t smoke and I only drink socially so this isn’t an issue with me.

Also, females must donate before having their monthly period to ensure that their hemoglobin levels are stable.

Please also consider donating blood, especially during this pandemic. The Philippine Red Cross provides free transportation during the pandemic for donors. Social distancing is fully enforced. Please wear a mask and face shield at the center at all times.

God bless us all!

The Overseas Fabulous Pinay: A Handbook for Independent Women

I just finished reading The Overseas Fabulous Pinay: A Modern Filipina’s Handbook on How to Thrive Abroad by Donna Avellana-Künzler. It was a joy to consume as it was written in the author’s humorous and tongue-in-cheek style. I appreciated that the book was divided in chapters which dealt with the essential matters on migrating to a foreign country, such as important documents and survival skills. These were balanced with light chapters on how to enjoy the expat life and making friends with different people.

Don’t get me wrong- I am not planning to move abroad anytime soon. However, I do know some female friends who are considering the big move someday. While the Internet is abound with resources on how to thrive aboard, this book uniquely targets Filipinas who want to not just integrate in another country, but to be fabulous while doing so. The book carefully lays out key strategies on making it overseas, beating homesickness, and balancing work and personal life.

Ms. Avellana-Künzler is a veteran in thriving overseas, as she has lived in three continents and wants to help Filipinas shine outside their comfort zones. She also wants to empower Filipinas by sharing her own life story so that others can learn from her wins and mistakes.

My favorite chapter was the last one, which was entitled Stay Fabulous. It helped me pinpoint what made me happy, how I reward myself, and what I would like to learn. Come to think of it, this book is not just for overseas Filipinas, but for every Filipina. This pandemic has made us all isolated to a certain extent, so conquering the outside world already feels like a major move in itself.

This book is a guide for Filipinas who want to transcend their own limits, whether its to move abroad or outside the home during Corona times.

I previously shared the press release for this book here.

The Overseas Fabulous Pinay: A Modern Filipina’s Guide on How to Thrive Abroad by Donna Avellana Künzler is available at major online book retailers Barnes & Noble, Kobo and Amazon for P750. Check www.ovfabpinay.com for announcements for book events and to get to know the author more through her blog. Be part of the #ovfabpinay Facebook community [www.facebook.com/ovfabpinay] and follow @ovfabpinay on Instagram [www.instagram.com/ovfabpinay] for more updates.

Stay safe and fabulous, everyone!

A Positive Impact

I went shopping the other day for purposeful items which will benefit our heroic frontliners. I want to help in my own small way during the enhanced community quarantine. Fortunately, two of my favorite brands have offered to make it easier for me to pay it forward.

Rags 2 Riches has recently released their summer collection aptly named Sol. It is a joyful collection of bags and clothes made of upcycled materials. As always, each item is made by Filipino artisans.

Proceeds will go to frontliners and families affected by the pandemic. This was enough for me to support this worthy cause.

Image from Pulseras by Kim

Another local brand that I continue supporting is Pulseras by Kim. The jewelry brand has recently dropped a fundraiser collection to benefit frontliners as well. I bought this locket, which featured a free photo printing service with each purchase. Of course, this made the decision to purchase easier.

Shopping for a cause is one of my favorite things to do. I hope that you will also support brands that pay it forward, because we can all make a difference even while at home.

2020 Fitness Goals

This year, I do not have grand fitness goals or exercise challenges for myself. Rather, the plan is to stay consistent by working out daily. Yes, every single day.

Consistency is better than out of this world goals or unattainable records. I simply want to continue what I have already started years ago. Exercising daily is key to maintaining a healthy body, mind, and soul. When I am fit, I am able to balance my priorities and also see clearly as far as other aspects of my life are concerned.

Fitness has also enabled me to try new activities with no fear. My love for cardio means that I can walk for miles without breaking a sweat, and continue being a foodie without fear of gaining weight. My confidence has also been reinforced by my daily workouts, as I have no self-doubt on what my body can do and achieve.

I am also aware of my limitations, and I am working on my shortcomings. My workouts keep me focused on what’s important so that I can improve, day by day.

This year, I will continue being my own fitness inspiration. The goal is to burn calories daily and be better than who I was yesterday, so that I can continue enjoying the present which will lead to a brighter and more stable future.

Salted Egg Eve

My final lunch for 2019 was this Benchto meal at Bench Cafe. I had B1, which was the salted egg chicken set. It was deliciously filling, and I highly recommend it if you are also into the whole salted egg craze of this decade.

I am ending 2019 with a simple snack of gifted biscuits and English breakfast tea. The holidays have been kind to me, despite being the first without my father. With friends and family who constantly feed and support me, I am more inspired to pursue my passions, work harder, and of course, eat like it’s always my last day on earth.

Here’s to chasing our bliss this 2020! Happy new year and may God bless us all!

Insecure No More

I just realized a few days ago that I finally got over my insecurities. I used to hate my bushy eyebrows. Now that it’s on-trend, I don’t tweeze them anymore. I used to hate my skin. I have since stopped wearing foundation and loved my imperfect face. I used to hate my thick lips. Now, I celebrate them with bright lipstick.

I guess it comes with age, as I am already 33. It was a long and winding road to being secure with myself. Strangely, getting piercings on my rook, helix, and conch have enabled me to embrace my own edgy style.

By wearing less makeup, staying fit and healthy, and maintaining a low key style, I became more at peace with my imperfections.

Here are some ways to begin feeling secure with yourself:

1. Wear less makeup.

2. Exercise daily.

3. Stick to a uniform wardrobe. I stuck to some neutrals and that made everyday dressing effortless.

4. Do something that will make you feel beautiful. For me, it was getting piercings!

5. Always stay hydrated and take good care of your skin.

Life is too short to stay insecure! Love yourself, and your confidence will surely open doors for you.

Saturday Teacher

Yesterday, I lent my time to the scholars of HOUSE Foundation. I taught two classes Business Communication, and I managed to do so without coffee! This is totally out of my comfort zone as I am not a teacher by profession, and I have never handled a class before. Nonetheless, I was able to deliver and help these students in my own little way.
These scholars work for Messy Bessy, the social enterprise that enables these students to go to school. I am very proud to say that they are competent and determined to learn. They just need our help to continue thriving.
You may also help these scholars. Visit http://ww.housefoundation.com.ph today to volunteer or donate!

Self-Care Friday

I have been taking care of myself since getting rejected from this job I’ve been applying for. Everything happens for a reason. The best way to move on is to practice self-care.

I went to a waxing salon, then I watched LSS starring Gabbi Garcia at UP. I enjoyed my me-time and I realized that life isn’t too bad at all.

For My Dad

Yesterday, I started with my new job. While my dad is fighting for his life at the hospital, I am beginning a new chapter in my life. I am commencing my new role as a Junior Accounts Manager in a digital marketing and tech firm in Quezon City.  

It is definitely a challenge for me to begin in an industry that I am new in. At the same time, it is the perfect opportunity for me to start again and grow during this difficult time.  

I may be criticized by my relatives and friends for working while my dad is in critical condition, but I am doing this to empower myself. I need to support myself and buy enough food to survive. 

I am doing this for my dad. I am dedicating my new job for him, as he has also worked hard to send me to school and to support me as I was growing up. Now, it’s my turn to earn and take care of him. 

I am thankful for the new job, and I hope that I can effectively contribute to the company’s growth as I also evolve as an employee.  

PCC Public Forum

Yesterday, I attended the Philippine Competitions Commission’s Public Forum on the Philippine Competition Act with special focus on the PCC Leniency Program. 

It was my last conference before I begin work this Thursday at a company near home. 

My key takeaway is that competition benefits consumers by empowering them with choice. It is the PCC’s obligation to ensure that this is not abused, and that businesses play fair in their operations. 

I find PCC’s conferences informative and straightforward. This is my fourth PCC conference, and it is fitting that my last one prior to returning to the workforce is with them. 

I am thankful for learning opportunities that allow me to sharpen the saw and broaden my horizons.  

Here’s to more learning opportunities in the future! 

Manila Fame 2019

Yesterday, I woke up to a postcard sent by my good friend Nurai. She’s based in Germany, but she posted this from Spain while she was on holiday. 

It was the ideal preview to my artistic day ahead. I rode the LRT 1 and hailed a tuktuk to take me directly to the World Trade Center. 

I went to the Manila Fame to immerse myself in Filipino artistry. My short visit last Friday was too brief, and I really wanted to spend more time at the fair. 

I started my visit with some refreshing liquer de calamansi. 

Then, I had some good coffee.  

I dropped by the Handcrafted by Harl’s booth because I love their advocacy in supporting differently-abled artisans. I bought a handbag from them last year, and it’s still serving me well. 

I joined a leather-crafting workshop for only Php50. I made a leather coin purse with the help of their talented deaf-mute artisans. 

I ended up being the empowered one because I learned a new skill and got to learn from a differently-asked person.  

It was lovely to see fashion influencer Lolaandrogynous at the fair! I totally dig her style. 

I also bought small trinkets from another social enterprise, Kilus.  

I got to appreciate the finer details during this visit.  

I finally got to try 1st Colonial’s sili ice cream and it was delicious!

I had a wonderful evening at Manila Fame and I’m very proud to be Filipino.  

I ended my day with cheese sticks, so I’m also doing the same here. 

Here’s to more opportunities to be proudly Pinoy! 

Sunday Recoupment

This week has been pretty intense. I survived a traumatic job interview with a company who misleads their applicants. I was lucky that I trusted my instincts and left. 

I also got into a violent incident in the train, which didn’t stop me from attending a seminar at AIM.  

These incidents made me feel tired, so I ordered Japanese food to keep my spirits up. I had the omu curry rice at Kimono Ken, which is a restaurant that I’ve been frequenting since my uni days. I had a delicious lunch and I will definitely be back!

I capped off my lunch with my usual Assam milk tea at Serenitea. 

It’s easy to bounce back from setbacks as long as I learn from them in order to prevent them from happening again. In this case, I learned to research thoroughly on the companies I apply for, continue to trust my instincts, and maintain my composure whenever I am attacked in public. I believe I was able to do so as I was offered a seat on the train by a kind gentleman. 

Here’s to more lessons, foodie adventures, and milk tea! 

Fueling Women

Yesterday, I started my day with some toasted longganisa and hot chocolate at Breakfast Bin.  

Then, I checked out some exhibitions at the Ayala Museum. 

I especially liked their Women and War exhibit. 

After running some errands, I got myself some pares and siomai from Kanto Pares. Yum! 

As a woman, I prioritize self-care because the most important person in my story is me. Seeing empowering exhibits and eating yummy food are just two ways to fuel myself. Happy International Women’s Day! 

Knitting Anniversary

Today is my knitting anniversary! It’s been a year since my fateful Knitting Adventure at the Banaue Rice Terraces. It was where I first learned to knit. The lesson wasn’t easy for me, and I did struggle at first. But with a lot of practice, I did get the hang of it. And I even re-learned how to crochet along the way!

To celebrate this important milestone, I crocheted and knitted this infinity shawl using chunky yarns from my favorite notions store, The Attic Yarn and Craftery. The ladies behind this local shop has become my friends, and it is touching how this friendship has also become a source of strength and inspiration for me to keep going. 

My knitting and crochet abilities are in line with my goal to diversify myself through continuous learning of skills. You may be wondering how this connects to my goal to work in a corporate setting. Well, knitting and crochet has taught me patience, perseverance, resilience (especially when I would drop a stitch and have to start over!), creativity, and imagination. I have also learned these skills from scratch through workshops (like the advanced crochet one I attended with Mayown last year). If I can train my mind and hands to manipulate yarn, needles, and hooks, then I’m sure that I am ready to learn new programs, business platforms, and skills. 

I have also started a new scarf using the knitting needles that came with my kit at Banaue. Using these 6mm bamboo needles again is humbling, as I recall the awkward stitches that I have made 365 days ago in the mountains. Now, I am in my room in the city, with pop music blaring in the background. I have yarn from Pasig, the yarn bowl that I gifted myself with on Valentine’s Day, my first knitting needles, and the determination to keep going. I have amazed myself with how far I’ve come in my creative journey. 

I know that this is only the beginning.